20191002

It's been a year. I've been writing but on my notebook; definitely not typing.

Well, it's been 2 months since I've arrived here in a foreign land- New Zealand. Uhm, my new home. It was fun arriving here almost 3 months ago, eyes puffed because of crying or was I too scared? Haha idk. I already passed my CAP Course, I have my Annual Practicing Certificate and I'm a New Zealand Nurse. It still seems weird being all here, passing the course I've been dreading about, living away from everything and everyone. All this time I've been all "too overwhelmed." Maybe because I never expected all of this to happen? I mean I was actually really hoping I could step out of my comfort zone and do something great for myself- like get a nursing job overseas da da da; and tada! Here I am actually achieving everything?! Probably my overused word for the day is overwhelmed?  HAHA idk cause I know I still am but definitely HUMBLED. 


xo, readysetdrool.

Rants.

3 years post graduation and I'm constantly finding myself complaining how all this adulthood would suck.

Well, the job is quite rewarding. Got a spot at a local government hospital, tryna saving lives of strangers. Sometimes they stay at their best, saying thanks and all. But mostly, they keep on looking down at us , as if their Phil health paid enough to be screaming at us like their slaves. Lol no you didn't even pay a single centavo to be treating us lyk dis. Why can't you be just as tamed as you have to be. We're humans too not some magicians who can bring back lost lives. We try to save lives, not to hocus pocus the dead ones. Some modesty and respect helps too.


Next, why can't people (in general) can't be fucking straight forward. I mean, it doesn't hurt to say 'ooh Dan, dat's not how it's done.' Or 'Dan, there's something on your face.' NOT FUCKING MOCK ME ON MY FACE. ASSHOLES. Still wondering how and  cowards are made of.

There's so much pressure coupled up with stress lately. Idk how nicely should it be treated. Ugh.

xo, readysetdrool.

20150119

IMCU 2015.

 xo, readysetdrool.

I survived a year!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US, MY LOVE!

After a year of having the best love-hate relationship with you, we made it! It's been really nice to have you in my life. I honestly still can't believe how far we've come. From the easy peasy Gen-ward to Med CP, PICU 2, ICU 2 down to ICU 1, I know for sure, you've taught me a lot. Being a nurse was something I prayed so hard for 2 years ago, now that i'm finally living the dream, I can't help but to be grateful for everything. Hoping for a year more of stressful, happy, fulfilling duties! See you when I get back! ♥ 

xo, readysetdrool.

150419

You do so much for a person (not that you're expecting something in return ) but what you get is that you are being indirectly pushed away. All. The. Time. You call them cowards without the balls. These are the kind of bags you never wish to own. The one that starts with douche. I hope nobody treats you like this. 

150317

Pretty much going thru a horrible post PMS phase right now. Can't believe how many days have already passed by and not even a single "hi-hello" has been said. BS. BS. Can I just forget everything in an instant and just move on with my life. Everything's about him and his not-even-worthy presence. Nope. NOT ESSENTIAL. STOP. MENTALLY ERASING EVERYTHING. Place every little detail on a small bottle, ready to be shipped to the collected memories of this human and to be used in the future on a Pensieve. 


GO AWAY.
xo, readysetdrool.

150306

We all have it. Ya know. The shitty days. Black and white, cloudy, too draggy, too tired to do anything kinda days, can't sleep cause insomniac as fuck. I'm actually having a really baaaaad time dealing with it right now. You gotta add up the nose that's been acting like a waterfall. I just can't stop sneezing and brushing it off. Ugh can it just be a normal happy day at work. At home. or anywhere. Idk. Maybe I got too hyper the past few days. Learn your lesson Dan, - DO NOT DRINK COFFEE EVER AGAIN. NEVER. EVER. EVER. Really hoping for a sunny day tomorrow, since i'm on AM shift. As fo now, shizzles! Nights! 
xo, readysetdrool.

Nothing greater than November!

Favorite month almost getting over! So lemme summarize how extremely awesome it was! It may have came in too fast, nevertheless, it was smooth!

20140930 Last day syndrome.

No jam, dili mabayran ang akong experience sa CP. Miskin ingnon sa tanan na toxic siya, dili jud ko mucontra kay tinuod jud na. Truth is, it's an IMCU within a ward, and you kinda get the picture. Toxicity level: unfathomable. Kung basehan lang sa  kadaghan sa level 3-4 na ginaalagaan, hawd na jud ka. Pero CP made me stayed flat on ground. It humbled me down in the sense that no matter who/ what your patients are/ suffering from, they are still worth your utmost respect and care. In a shift (toxic pov), we get 3-4 expires. When we get cardiac arrests, we had to stay relaxed, compose ourselves and pray for the best for our patients. It's not an easy job for the most of us. Sometimes we get that strong urge to complain even about the smallest things because we're /that/ exhausted. But at the end of the day, a smile is always seen in our faces and that's because we are very well compensated with our workmates. The staff (NOD's and attendants), headnurse, co-auxi's, doctors, even the clerks, everything seems to be in glorious harmony with the workload we carry. You can never question that small piece of happiness you bring with you everytime you end/ start a shift. Now that we're down to that last 8 hours of our duty, I'm just kinda hoping nothing would change, that even after this rotation, the friendship, the bond will still be there for everyone to enjoy. 

P.S.
We had 4 expires that night. Haha. So much fulfillment. Now off to another area, PICU let's see.
xo, readysetdrool.

Small talks.

I suppose I'm trying to keep up with his pace again. Should I go on ten steps ahead or slow down and go with him again? 

Talking to you under the stars in sober minds was one thing I never imagined doing with you but it happened. Random stories just came out from our voices and we were actually talking with sense. 

Was I able to make you feel better or was I just another someone who you tell your stories to? I hope not. 

One thing's for sure, I made you smile. 

xo, readysetdrool.

140908

MANTRA EVERY. SINGLE. WORKING. DAY:

BE THAT FUCKING RAY OF SUNSHINE TO YOUR PATIENTS. TOXIC OR NOT, WITH MECH VENT OR NOT, BE THAT ONE NURSE WHO WILL MAKE THEM SMILE. NO MATTER WHAT. MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

xo, readysetdrool.

Illegal Paem

Hello there!
I've been pretty jobless for about 2 weeks now and since I haven't really started my nursing career yet, I've decided to become a total professional bummer for a while. Hence, I present thee the, the goofballs I spend most of my time with these past few weeks.... and the /illegal/ things we've done.

Now, why illegal? Simple. These kids wants to get kicked out and feed their cravings rather than getting themselves rot inside the academy whilst waiting for their end dates to come, since they're serving their penalties -- can't go out from the academy. 그냥 그냥 그냥..... 

 떡볶이 cravings satisfied. ALL THE TIME.

20140319

do you know that feeling of just wanting to get out of your city, ride a bus going to your friends house, do an ambush party and spend a night there just to let out of your emotions. 

geeeez can i do that again. 
or not.
anyway, i'm about to start le nursing career................ hopefully. 
xx
xo, readysetdrool.

Career

Applying for this English tutor job for Koreans is by far the best decision I made for this year. Good start, mate. Honestly, I don't earn $$$ however if you base it with the immensity of fun I am currently having and the workload everyday, it's as if you're playing on a daily basis (well minus the fact that you really have to correct grammars and all). Point is, man, i'm having good fun right now. But almost quitting soon soon cause have to go on with my nursing career. Taking about shitloads of papers to file, university to attend too. Life.  xxx 

Labels.

Got this weird statement from a fried earlier while we were stuck in traffic: "I honestly don't know how to label you and someone (college best friends to superlative with decent friendship only). It started when we were in 3rd year college until to this very day, I don't know how to call you, bestfriends? more than friends? Couple? I mean, whenever I hear stories about you being together (going out), I'd just go "oh, that's normal".

I didn't know how to react tho. But after everything that happened? College drinking buddies to housemates to being roommates and everything in between? Idk how to react when i'll see him again. Tbh.

Hoping for the best tho. :l

No, there are no feelings. Hahaha. 
xo, readysetdrool.

Res Ipsa Loquitur

This is the proof of 4 years and 6 months worth of anxiety, erratic mood changes, hormonal imbalances and endless prayers. Elaborate? Yes, I passed the Philippine Nursing Licensure Exam which I took last December 07 - 08, 2013. The Lord never fails to surprise me with His small ways of answering my heart's desires. I'M A PROFESSIONAL NURSE IN THE PHILIPPINES, HECK YES. Kbye. 

Next stop: getting my ass off somewhere to study again. 

xo, readysetdrool.

'tis the season to be jolly~~

Christmas, the best tme of the year, of course! Jesus was born and the whole world was given the gift of their Saviour. Much more to celebrate when you're family's almost complete and friends coming home.

Obv, last year's Yuletide season was extra special because...
(Blog post full of photos)

Emotions.

In the past 5/6 months, I've been into a few emotional breakouts, maybe it was because of the early anxiety attacks I have been having before the board exam. Truth be told, it wasn't the smoothest part of the journey. I may have turned people away from me but with all honesty, I regret doing it. 

I miss everything. I miss the good times. It's like half of my happiness went away when the review season started. Idk what happened tho. It was like I wanted to change, to focus more on the review. Wanted to keep myself as quiet as possible. However, things went completely different when people who were pretty close to me became strangers. They misunderstood me, my emotions. Everything were unsure. Even the way we act, it was different. Although I tried talking it over, it's just that people will always see the mistakes and not the countless times you've been nice. Jumping into conclusions that things will never be the same. Not even how much I tried, it might never be again. AND IT HURTS. 

IDK.

read:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2013/04/50-ways-to-love-someone/

xo, readysetdrool.

Lately, there's been a ray of sunshine

Forcing myself that there's still a sense of holding on. Some of the few things that still makes my smile.

1. Good music after taking a bath. Who hates listening to "walking on sunshine, ohohhhh~~" and "We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun, But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time" first thing in the morining? 

2. Good morning sms from random people. 

3. Having that awesome smell of freshly cooked eggs and bacons for breakfast!

4. Seeing someone smile at you at 5AM in the morning. (My friend, Kevin lives with me so yeah, that's one of the most random thing we randomly do, believe me, that's just like a good start on an everyday basis!)

5. Meeting oh-so-cute-i-wanna-squish-you-and-cuddle-hug-you-all-day type of lecturer every day at the review center. It's like basically saying, "You are to meet a handsome guy today so you better dress up neatly to leave a nice impression."

6. Which leads me to wearing decent clothes every single day for review. Classmates are dressing up like they're just at home, wearing shorts, a shirt and slippers. I beg to disagree. Every day is a fashion day. You don't just wear them awesome clothes for special occasions. FLAUNT THE INNER FASHIONISTA WITHIN!!!  AND "STRESSED, BUT WELL DRESSED!"

7. Eating nonstop because you know you're neurons need glucose. Gaining weight is not an excuse BUT can't help but eat!!!
xo, readysetdrool.

Journey

3 and a half grueling months has actually passed by and i'm on the verge of giving up. IRDK what's up but heol i'm stressed / anxious / scared as heck. They say it's normal for the pre-board shish but idkkkkk it doesn't seem to be as normal as it should be (pov). Tbh, I've been dealing with too much stressors lately, hospitalized bc of hyperacidity, finding myself always crying bc irdk what to do and back pain that's getting bad. Tho I'm sure this won't be too long. I know I'll pass the board exam, one try. I won't fail. I'll make my parents proud. Fo sho. I'm claiming it!!!!!!1 

"NASA DIYOS ANG AWA, NASA TAO ANG GAWA" - Quoted from a classmate from earlier's Spiritaul enhancement. True enough, there's no way you'd get that success when hard work and prayers don't go together.