20191126

What a great time to be alive; to be surrounded by beautiful souls. I've been surrounded by such kind hearts these past few weeks and it feels relieving to be supported emotionally. I mean, lately it's been difficult, I'm kinda stagnant right now but I must be patient at some point. Surrendering my plans to the Lord instead of ranting cause I know His plans are better than mine. 

Matthew 7:7

xo, readysetdrool.

Small talks.

I suppose I'm trying to keep up with his pace again. Should I go on ten steps ahead or slow down and go with him again? 

Talking to you under the stars in sober minds was one thing I never imagined doing with you but it happened. Random stories just came out from our voices and we were actually talking with sense. 

Was I able to make you feel better or was I just another someone who you tell your stories to? I hope not. 

One thing's for sure, I made you smile. 

xo, readysetdrool.

Dreams

He was calling whilst I was busy doing something but I had to pick up because it was him. He kept on asking how was I. "**, how are you? I miss you." He asked. I answered quickly with "I'm fine. I've always been fine.". Then he asked again, this time with a tone that sounded like asking for some assurances "Ask me, I'll tell you how much I miss you again." It sounded perfect for a moment, then I broke it off...... I woke up.

Too much unconsciously thinking about things that would never happen. 

xo, readysetdrool.

20140417

PAEM.

20140421

I've seen enough farewells over the weekend. Ambivalence may be even the correct term. Attachments, separation anxieties and still in denial, but we have to move on with our lives and run after our own dreams. thank you, for the awesome 3 months worth of being the illegal paem and countless adventures. I know, in time our roads will cross again and by then, i hope the bond is still as strong as what we have today. I'll miss you my friends!!!! 잘 지내고있어... ㅋㅋㅋ

Kayla, Cathy, Brian, Youn and Steve.... Good luck with all the endeavors you will be facing. See you soon!! xx 
xo, readysetdrool.

Charmed

2014년 4월18일
Davao International Airport

While waiting for Kayla's departure time, we were staying under the scorching heat of the sun when this taxi driver passed by us, holding 4 bottles of alcohols. 2 Jack Daniel's and 2 Tanduay ice. Since it was liek seriously hot, I was kidding around and doing "the charm" to the driver saying "Kuya, pashare naman!!! Ang ineeet!" (Kuya, can you share some of those cause it's too hot???). The taxi driver just gave us a smile and a nod like somehow /kindly/ teasing us. Luckily, the dude who game him those glorious bottles was a foreigner!!! He might've heard my plea to the taxi driver, he called me up and said we could have the 2 bottles of Tanduay ice!! He even got his bottle opener somewhere from his pants and opened the bottles himself! Really everyone was shouting "Wow! Is that for sure?" I just had to walk up to him and said "Thanks for the drinks, you saved us from dehydrating!" (tho really lol it would've cause us more water loss, nevertheless he was so kind!!!!)  another one move of kindness to save humanity. Although I forgot to ask his name, it's a good move to ask him where he's from. He's Australian..... To whoever you are, we're still thankful for the drink, mate. 

xo, readysetdrool.

20140311

I got another interesting question from my student:
"How many International friends do you have?"

and then it hit me.....
I'M A FANGIRL. I just replied: "YOU HAVE NO IDEA, Where do you want to start?"

 Hahahhahaha :))))))))))))
xo, readysetdrool.

Labels.

Got this weird statement from a fried earlier while we were stuck in traffic: "I honestly don't know how to label you and someone (college best friends to superlative with decent friendship only). It started when we were in 3rd year college until to this very day, I don't know how to call you, bestfriends? more than friends? Couple? I mean, whenever I hear stories about you being together (going out), I'd just go "oh, that's normal".

I didn't know how to react tho. But after everything that happened? College drinking buddies to housemates to being roommates and everything in between? Idk how to react when i'll see him again. Tbh.

Hoping for the best tho. :l

No, there are no feelings. Hahaha. 
xo, readysetdrool.

'tis the season to be jolly~~

Christmas, the best tme of the year, of course! Jesus was born and the whole world was given the gift of their Saviour. Much more to celebrate when you're family's almost complete and friends coming home.

Obv, last year's Yuletide season was extra special because...
(Blog post full of photos)

Emotions.

In the past 5/6 months, I've been into a few emotional breakouts, maybe it was because of the early anxiety attacks I have been having before the board exam. Truth be told, it wasn't the smoothest part of the journey. I may have turned people away from me but with all honesty, I regret doing it. 

I miss everything. I miss the good times. It's like half of my happiness went away when the review season started. Idk what happened tho. It was like I wanted to change, to focus more on the review. Wanted to keep myself as quiet as possible. However, things went completely different when people who were pretty close to me became strangers. They misunderstood me, my emotions. Everything were unsure. Even the way we act, it was different. Although I tried talking it over, it's just that people will always see the mistakes and not the countless times you've been nice. Jumping into conclusions that things will never be the same. Not even how much I tried, it might never be again. AND IT HURTS. 

IDK.

read:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2013/04/50-ways-to-love-someone/

xo, readysetdrool.

Lately, there's been a ray of sunshine

Forcing myself that there's still a sense of holding on. Some of the few things that still makes my smile.

1. Good music after taking a bath. Who hates listening to "walking on sunshine, ohohhhh~~" and "We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun, But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time" first thing in the morining? 

2. Good morning sms from random people. 

3. Having that awesome smell of freshly cooked eggs and bacons for breakfast!

4. Seeing someone smile at you at 5AM in the morning. (My friend, Kevin lives with me so yeah, that's one of the most random thing we randomly do, believe me, that's just like a good start on an everyday basis!)

5. Meeting oh-so-cute-i-wanna-squish-you-and-cuddle-hug-you-all-day type of lecturer every day at the review center. It's like basically saying, "You are to meet a handsome guy today so you better dress up neatly to leave a nice impression."

6. Which leads me to wearing decent clothes every single day for review. Classmates are dressing up like they're just at home, wearing shorts, a shirt and slippers. I beg to disagree. Every day is a fashion day. You don't just wear them awesome clothes for special occasions. FLAUNT THE INNER FASHIONISTA WITHIN!!!  AND "STRESSED, BUT WELL DRESSED!"

7. Eating nonstop because you know you're neurons need glucose. Gaining weight is not an excuse BUT can't help but eat!!!
xo, readysetdrool.

Journey

3 and a half grueling months has actually passed by and i'm on the verge of giving up. IRDK what's up but heol i'm stressed / anxious / scared as heck. They say it's normal for the pre-board shish but idkkkkk it doesn't seem to be as normal as it should be (pov). Tbh, I've been dealing with too much stressors lately, hospitalized bc of hyperacidity, finding myself always crying bc irdk what to do and back pain that's getting bad. Tho I'm sure this won't be too long. I know I'll pass the board exam, one try. I won't fail. I'll make my parents proud. Fo sho. I'm claiming it!!!!!!1 

"NASA DIYOS ANG AWA, NASA TAO ANG GAWA" - Quoted from a classmate from earlier's Spiritaul enhancement. True enough, there's no way you'd get that success when hard work and prayers don't go together.

Life atm.

Being in the review school for the up coming board exam on December had already made it's toll on me. Physically, emotionally, /socially/ i am drained. I am tired. I want to break down, cry and laugh afterwards (what is labile?) lol. Anyway. Life has been pretty hard lately. I know i'm not doing well with my review and tbh i'm starting to doubt myself if i could really do it. I know it's not suppose to be the right attitude especially when i know there's only 86 days left before the war. I'm not that prepared yet because i know i need to push myself harder. The question is, how do i do it right. How do i tell myself to strive harder and focus more? I need my mum to pressure me. I need people to give me a slap in the face to tell me my effort's not enough. Tho i'm fully aware my irl friends are supportive but still it's not enough. Bla. Random. Still, I KNOW I CAN DO IT. I CAN MAKE IT, I WILL TOP THE BOARD EXAM! DECEMBER 2013, I WILL BE A NURSE!!!! I'm claiming it, in Jesus' name!

xo, readysetdrool

no.

Do you remember the first time you ever said "no" to anybody? Neither do I. Correct me if i'm wrong, that time, you were a toddler. Your parents wanted you to do something, but as normal as a negativist person as you were, you didn't do anything they told you. Now, where is this leading? I honestly don't know. What i'm sure of, is that I had another chance to have a good convo with Mara earlier. 

I can't tell everything however, I think to sum up the whole thing just leads me to a smart endpoint: LEARN TO SAY NO. Sometimes you have to stop being so so so nice to your friends that unknowingly, they are just using you for their own benefits. Am I being too selfless that pleasing others is becoming too much? Idk. Ugh. This feeling of wanting to learn how to watch out for my feelings too is kinda idkkkkk. Mara gave out a good advice early but how, where, when to start doing it? 

xo,

readysetdrool

Idk.

People used to tell me how I have this strong personality. The extrovert, noisy , she's friends with everyone type. Honestly, I don't know where this came from. Maybe 1st impressions? Idk. Or maybe, try figuring out what happened to me before how I got here. But yeah, sometimes it pays to just be nobody.

xo, readysetdrool.

Rich friends

BSN 4D. BSN 4 DATO!!! 

Someone is being all nostalgic right now. Missing her college barkada and everything in between. The only constant thing there is, is change; they say. But fuckkkk i dont want them to change. I love them just the way they are hoho char. Realllyyyy it's different when we're all being child like and kids at heart. Doing nothing, staring at random food whilst mentally calculating the calorie intakes, random movie nights, shots. EVERYTHING is just missable. :( Can i press replay for a minute or two and go back to the old good days?

-emotional beyatch 

xo, readysetdrool.

3 months post-grad

Living the most of being a bum and a couch potato right now with no income at all. This is really funny but I think i'm enjoying every minute of it because when July starts--review starts, everything will be thrown away again and i'll be saying hello to my books. Anyway, yesterday was...kind of a food day because yes, go figure. 

Finally

After 4 long years full of rants, laugh-tears, agony, heartaches and mostly happy times, I earned my Professional Nursing Pin. For me, this small pin is a reminder to myself that no matter how hard nursing school was, I totally pwned it. With a total of about 24 case studies, more or less 25 drug studies, numerous patients, sleepless nights, not more than 30 readings and countless requirements, I got the pin without any failing marks. Nevertheless, it's more than enough to pay for everything. Thy self is still on this phase where everything is happening so fast-surreal-kind. All I can think of right now is how grateful I am for this achievement. Nothing compares these things because the hard work totally paid off. Although I kind of regret not doing that well while on the track and not getting those special awards I was praying for, it didn't matter anymore. Maybe God's telling me to push harder for the board exams. 3 days from now, I will be finally walking the aisle to have my graduation. 4 years = NURSING. Still can't believe it. T_____T

p.s.

Danica Armada, Fresh Graduate of Bachelor of Science in Nursing. (Man, that sound's awesome!!!)

xo, readysetdrool.

Friends!

Where to start writing...

ICU

Assigned at the Intensive Care Unit last week and was told to take in charge of reading the ECG tracings of our patients. Became a telemetry nurse in an instant and heck it was fun / educational at the same time! One for the few things I will definitely miss about being a student nurse. Learning and being a boss at my own pace. Never better. The second photo's with our clinical instructor, Ma'am Dedel. I've been under her supervision for like countless times already and mind you, she's really really nice/ intelligent. :)  

xo, readysetdrool.